How Facebook nearly ruined my Thanksgiving
I am a sucker for holidays. Thanks to the media and our consumer culture, I have long fallen hard for the fantasy of Thanksgiving dinner, huge extended family gathered for a perfectly cooked meal, fire roaring, children playing, the sound of laughter rolling across a warm home full of love.
Although I have much to be thankful for, this year that Kodak moment was going to be hard to accomplish. We lost our mother three and a half years ago, and with her passing the glue that held our small family together seemed to dissolve. My sisters live in other states with their children, my husband lives in London (another story), and, at this point, it’s just me and my dad here in Southern California.
My husband, a Brit, understandably has little feeling for the holiday, but he was coming out to visit, and we talked about how we could make the best of our Thanksgiving. We were invited to friends, but dad wouldn’t be able to join us, and cobbling together a dinner at our house seemed difficult and a little melancholy.
So, we decided to check into a hotel near my father’s house. It has an ocean view, and I hoped the beauty would soothe the slightly empty feeling in my heart as I contemplated the holiday. For the first time in my life there would be no scent of roasting turkey, no stuffing, no cranberry sauce, no dishes.
You may wonder how Facebook became the enemy in all of this. Well, as I am sure a lot of you have noticed, Facebook has replaced traditional media in showing us a window into other people’s lives. And, I often joke to my friends that life generally looks perfect on Facebook. People tend to post their most attractive vacation shots, their most newsworthy accomplishments. As someone who enjoys other people’s happiness, I love Facebook for just this reason. I enjoy seeing the lovely things my friends are up to, revel in their good news, appreciate the interesting articles they share, coo in delight at their new babies and adorable puppies.
But, in the leadup to Thanksgiving I discovered that everyone’s excited postings about huge family gatherings and games by the fire were just making me feel bad. I was facing a Thanksgiving-less Thanksgiving, in a hotel surrounded by strangers.
What to do? Well, a couple of things happened. My youngest sister decided at the last minute to fly out to be with my dad. And, our hotel was offering a Thanksgiving buffet. They happened to have four seats available for the 1:00 seating. So, Jodi and dad got all dressed up and drove down to meet us here. Suddenly, we weren’t so alone. The room was festive and full of people, the food was lovely, and as I looked across the table I saw dad telling my husband a story, and they were both laughing. I captured that photograph, and suddenly I had my own Facebook moment, two people I love enjoying a meal together, which, in the end, is the point of it all, isn’t it?
I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, full of light and love!
This is so sweet. You have much to be thankful for. Glad you realized it. In addition to that you have J.R. and me back in your life and for that I am thankful! xoxo Craftwench aks Nanci
ReplyDeleteWe had our Kodak moment and some very warm memories were made on this Thanksgiving. Thanks for being my Sis and helping keep this small but very special family together. I look forward to our next Thanksgiving together... xoxo You sis- jodi
ReplyDeleteI'm giving thanks for this post. Well done my friend. XX
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite Thanksgiving memories is the year my dad (of Chuck's of Hawaii fame!), stepmother, sister and I spent at a hotel. (Parents divorced, sister and I teens, dad and stepmom in from out of state for the holiday.) I was worried that it wouldn't feel Thanksgivingy, even though we had reservations for the T-Day Buffet. We walked up to the hostess stand with the other homeless T-Day guests, then noticed that the schmancy steak restaurant next door was open and empty. We gave each other a quick, knowing look, then hustled over there for a Thanksgiving of steak, escargot, and impeccable service (again -- nearly empty restaurant.) All laughs and fun. So glad yours turned out well too! xo
ReplyDeleteSweet story...and oh so relevant in today's social media driven society. I struggled with the whole Facebook/Instagram thing this Thanksgiving because I wanted to give all my focus and attention to being in the moment. Then I realized Facebook, among all the others, have an amazing ability to send/receive an enormous amount of love in just a few quick seconds, picture or no picture, with those close to you. It's especially nice for those of us who have lived in many places and just can't keep in touch with everyone we've met over the years, but would very much like to. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with social media, but value the times when it proves to do more good than harm. :)
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